Collaborative Divorce and Children

Effectively Co-Parenting Children After Your Divorce

Divorce is devastating to all parties involved, but the ones affected most often end up being the children of a divorcing couple. Aside from fears about their well-being, concerns about their possessions and living situation, and the grief that accompanies the separation of their parents, children want to know there is a plan in mind for them moving forward.

One of the more defining characteristics of a collaborative divorce is the creation of a parenting plan and the development of an effective co-parenting strategy. While spouses may not love each other anymore, they are encouraged to work cooperatively to care for and raise their children, despite the new scenario created by their divorce.

A divorce coach will work with parents to realize they love their children more than they hate one another, and determine ways they can cooperate with one another to provide a stable, supportive and loving home for them.

Components of a Parenting Plan

A parenting plan is a mutually-conceived set of guidelines for parents to care for their children today, as well as their needs as they grow. Provisions included in a parenting plan address concerns such as:

  • Handling holidays and other special occasions
  • Parental rights and duties
  • Routine care and support
  • Decisions about future health care insurance
  • Travel and vacation guidelines
  • Living arrangements and visitation
  • Camp and extracurricular activities
  • Child support
  • Long-term needs and goals

Essential Components for a Successful Co-Parenting Strategy

Though everyone would love to see family systems disrupted the least amount possible, co-parenting is the best option to a non-traditional family dynamic. It allows for both parents to be invested in their children’s life, and provide care for them as they grow up.

The divorce coach is responsible for educating the parents on the effects of not co-parenting their children effectively, and then working cooperatively to devise a successful strategy to address concerns for the present and future. Elements of a winning co-parenting strategy will include:

  • Mutual respect between spouses and a realization of each other’s strengths and skill set
  • Management of the external support system
  • Release of control when children are with other parent
  • Flexibility with scheduling and financial concerns
  • Frequent ego checks and reminders it is a team effort
  • Understanding each spouse is part of the ecosystem committed to successfully raising and caring for the children

Co-parenting can be challenging, but it’s why the collaborative team invests in the creation of a long-term strategy and the cultivation of an amicable relationship between spouses.

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