Grandkids and divorce conversations: the realities of grey divorce

Here’s a conversation many Boomers (the generation born between 1946 and 1964) never thought they would have: sitting down over glasses of wine and milk with their grandkids to explain that Grandma and Grandpa won’t be living together any more. “But who will get the toys?” might be the next question from the curious little ones. In a way, that is what any client facing grey divorce wants to … [Read more...]

Communications coach: a look under the hood

Everyone understands the role of an attorney in a divorce process. However, if you are just beginning to explore the collaborative divorce process, you may be wondering about the role of the communications coach. You have been communicating your entire life; why do you need a coach now? Why do you need a communications coach? A divorce is more than just a lengthy and expensive legal process. … [Read more...]

It’s not like riding a bike: second divorce complications

Some experiences are like riding a bike: if you have done it once, chances are you will be proficient at it the second time around. Unfortunately, that rule does not apply to second divorces. Just because you have been through one does not make the subsequent splits easier. My experience tells me that second and third divorces can be even more complex than the first one. Why? Here is my formula … [Read more...]

FAQ: Is there such as thing as “smooth sailing” when it comes to divorce?

A divorce process is never fun – but each couple’s experience lands in a different spot on the “pain scale”. Some divorces are relatively smooth and quick. Others seem to drag on, costing Husband and Wife a small fortune, and destroying what little goodwill and humanity is left in the relationship. If you are facing a divorce, you are probably wondering what you can do to minimize the damage, the … [Read more...]

Same-sex divorce: can a collaborative approach help?

As same-sex couples across the country rushed to courthouses to get officially married after the Supreme Court ruling in 2015, some of them are now discovering that untangling those marriages may be trickier than they thought. In a perfect world, marriage equality is matched by divorce equality. However, same-sex divorce is relatively new legal territory. Many couples are having a difficult time … [Read more...]

In Your Spouse’s Shoes: The Importance of Empathy in a Divorce

What is the single quality that has the power to re-define the outcome of a divorce? Perseverance, clarity on what is most important, and focus all come to mind. However, I would argue that empathy is the ultimate answer. That may look like an unlikely choice given the traditional idea of a divorce. After all, divorce conjures up images of courtroom battles and bitter arguments, not … [Read more...]

“Thou shalt not play tug of war” and other tips for getting the most out of your collaborative team

Some of the trickiest aspects of supporting couples through a collaborative divorce result from the nature of my involvement. As a neutral financial planner, my role is to support both Husband and Wife so that they can make the best decisions regarding their assets and debt. That may sound straight-forward, and it would be – if it were not for clandestine requests I get from time to time. “I … [Read more...]

Collaborative Law Without a Wedding

As anyone who has ever been through a break-up can attest, just because you never got that marriage certificate does not mean the separation will be simple or easy. What happens to the couch you bought together? How about that painting you brought back from vacation in Hawaii? And what in the world do you do with your beloved dog, Snuggles? The situation only gets more complicated if the couple … [Read more...]

FAQ: Does the Collaborative Divorce Process Ever Fail?

FAQ: Does the collaborative divorce process ever fail? Based on my experience, the answer is “Yes.” Human relationships and personalities are infinitely complex. That’s why there is more than one way to disentangle them at the end of a marriage. Even though the collaborative approach can result in a more civilized and flexible outcome, not every couple is a good candidate for collaborative … [Read more...]

Unique Aspects of Collaborative Divorce: an Attorney’s Perspective

Imagine a typical courtroom divorce scene: attorneys battling it out, emotions running high, the outcome of the hearing as unpredictable as who will win the next World Series. If you are facing a divorce, this image alone might be enough to discourage you. The good news is that you have options. Collaborative divorce offers more control over the outcome of a divorce and can be more civilized – … [Read more...]