Fights and co-parenting: a perspective from the communications coach

Children can become a point of contention and disagreement in even the most amicable of divorces. As a communications coach, I see these fights and wonder how two people who say they want the best for their children can have such vastly different ideas about what that “best” looks like. Co-parenting is hard. Every divorce is unique, but there are some common mistakes that I see parents make over … [Read more...]

When “kids” are in charge: divorce and adult children

Much has been written about the impact of divorce on young children – so much, in fact, that many parents choose to stay together for the sake of the kids. Times goes by, kids grow up, and by the time the parents are ready to call it quits the dynamic has shifted. In some of my cases, I see the adult children take charge – and that can get ugly. Consider these two recent examples (all names … [Read more...]

FAQ: My spouse and I get along just fine. Can’t we skip the co-parenting plan?

Not every divorce is an all-out brawl. In my practice, I have seen plenty of couples where Husband and Wife are able to put their differences aside, have civilized conversations about their separation, and show willingness to work together to create an outcome that everyone can live with. Can that be a recipe for disaster? Yes, if the couple decides to skip important steps in the divorce … [Read more...]

Divorce and Blended Families

Here is a hypothetical question for you. Do you invite an ex-step-brother to your wedding? And what is the proper way to address an ex-step-grandmother? As bizarre as they may sound, these questions are very real for many people. Statistics are sobering: 6 in 10 second marriages (and 3 in 4 third marriages) do not last. That introduces unique and complex dynamics into the already emotional … [Read more...]

Visitation Rights vs. Co-Parenting

FAQ: How does collaborative divorce address “visitation”? The short answer to this common question is, “It doesn’t”. Visitation is a concept from the traditional litigated divorce process. After the Court determines custody (i.e. approved living arrangements for minor children of the divorcing couple), it also assigns designated times and conditions under which the non-custodial parent gets to … [Read more...]

5 Tips for Telling Your Kids About the Divorce

FAQ: How do we tell the kids about the divorce? As a collaborative divorce attorney, I get this question frequently. I may be a trained lawyer, but I am here to tell you that few attorneys are adequately qualified to answer it. If you are working with a counselor or a psychologist, consider seeking their guidance. Their advice on the specifics and tactics for the conversation is well-worth the … [Read more...]