Grandkids and divorce conversations: the realities of grey divorce

Here’s a conversation many Boomers (the generation born between 1946 and 1964) never thought they would have: sitting down over glasses of wine and milk with their grandkids to explain that Grandma and Grandpa won’t be living together any more. “But who will get the toys?” might be the next question from the curious little ones. In a way, that is what any client facing grey divorce wants to … [Read more...]

It’s not like riding a bike: second divorce complications

Some experiences are like riding a bike: if you have done it once, chances are you will be proficient at it the second time around. Unfortunately, that rule does not apply to second divorces. Just because you have been through one does not make the subsequent splits easier. My experience tells me that second and third divorces can be even more complex than the first one. Why? Here is my formula … [Read more...]

In Your Spouse’s Shoes: The Importance of Empathy in a Divorce

What is the single quality that has the power to re-define the outcome of a divorce? Perseverance, clarity on what is most important, and focus all come to mind. However, I would argue that empathy is the ultimate answer. That may look like an unlikely choice given the traditional idea of a divorce. After all, divorce conjures up images of courtroom battles and bitter arguments, not … [Read more...]

Visitation Rights vs. Co-Parenting

FAQ: How does collaborative divorce address “visitation”? The short answer to this common question is, “It doesn’t”. Visitation is a concept from the traditional litigated divorce process. After the Court determines custody (i.e. approved living arrangements for minor children of the divorcing couple), it also assigns designated times and conditions under which the non-custodial parent gets to … [Read more...]

Collaborative Divorce Process: Insights into “Child Support”

FAQ: How do you calculate child support in a collaborative divorce case? The short answer to this common question is, “We don’t”. Allow me to explain. The idea of “child support” goes along with litigated divorce cases. In a collaborative divorce case, there is no speedy formula to calculate child support that would apply to every family. As a result, each collaborative case is approached on … [Read more...]

4 Reasons Why DIY Divorce Is (Most Likely) A Bad Idea

FAQ: I have heard of this DIY divorce option that is available in Texas. Should I just do that to save money? Everyone’s circumstances are different, but for most people a DIY divorce is not a great idea. There are four major reasons for that. 1. The DIY divorce form is not built for customization Sure, the form is available and can be located online with some diligent searching. However, … [Read more...]

Divorce and Privacy: What Does the Public Get to Know About My Divorce?

FAQ: What does the public get to know about my divorce? For the clients who choose the collaborative divorce process, the answer is “Not much”. In my experience, this is one area where the collaborative process has the potential to offer considerably more privacy than a traditional litigation approach to divorce. Many of our clients have a high degree of concern for privacy. Whether you have a … [Read more...]

Key Factors In Choosing a Collaborative Divorce Attorney

FAQ: What should you play attention to when choosing a collaborative divorce attorney? There are stark differences between a traditional litigation approach to divorce that tends to be adversarial, and a collaborative approach. It takes a combination of the right training and temperament to be a good fit for the collaborative process. So, once you have decided on using the collaborative divorce … [Read more...]

5 Tips for Telling Your Kids About the Divorce

FAQ: How do we tell the kids about the divorce? As a collaborative divorce attorney, I get this question frequently. I may be a trained lawyer, but I am here to tell you that few attorneys are adequately qualified to answer it. If you are working with a counselor or a psychologist, consider seeking their guidance. Their advice on the specifics and tactics for the conversation is well-worth the … [Read more...]

Collaborative Divorce Attorney: What Your Spouse Needs to Know

FAQ: How do I tell my spouse about collaborative divorce? That is a great question. From experience, I can share that there is a simple component and a complex component to answering it. The simple part is outlining the factual benefits of a collaborative divorce process over the traditional one. Here is a short list to start. The collaborative process is focused on structuring a mutually … [Read more...]