“Thou shalt not play tug of war” and other tips for getting the most out of your collaborative team

Some of the trickiest aspects of supporting couples through a collaborative divorce result from the nature of my involvement. As a neutral financial planner, my role is to support both Husband and Wife so that they can make the best decisions regarding their assets and debt. That may sound straight-forward, and it would be – if it were not for clandestine requests I get from time to time. “I … [Read more...]

Collaborative Law Without a Wedding

As anyone who has ever been through a break-up can attest, just because you never got that marriage certificate does not mean the separation will be simple or easy. What happens to the couch you bought together? How about that painting you brought back from vacation in Hawaii? And what in the world do you do with your beloved dog, Snuggles? The situation only gets more complicated if the couple … [Read more...]

Divorce and Blended Families

Here is a hypothetical question for you. Do you invite an ex-step-brother to your wedding? And what is the proper way to address an ex-step-grandmother? As bizarre as they may sound, these questions are very real for many people. Statistics are sobering: 6 in 10 second marriages (and 3 in 4 third marriages) do not last. That introduces unique and complex dynamics into the already emotional … [Read more...]

FAQ: Does the Collaborative Divorce Process Ever Fail?

FAQ: Does the collaborative divorce process ever fail? Based on my experience, the answer is “Yes.” Human relationships and personalities are infinitely complex. That’s why there is more than one way to disentangle them at the end of a marriage. Even though the collaborative approach can result in a more civilized and flexible outcome, not every couple is a good candidate for collaborative … [Read more...]

Unique Aspects of Collaborative Divorce: an Attorney’s Perspective

Imagine a typical courtroom divorce scene: attorneys battling it out, emotions running high, the outcome of the hearing as unpredictable as who will win the next World Series. If you are facing a divorce, this image alone might be enough to discourage you. The good news is that you have options. Collaborative divorce offers more control over the outcome of a divorce and can be more civilized – … [Read more...]